"Have you ever heard the term "passive aggressive" and wondered what it meant? The "silent treatment" is a classic example. Pure torture disguised as nothingness."
"Declarations containing the words "always" or "never". They are commonly used but rarely true."
Blaming – The practice of identifying a person or people responsible for creating a problem, rather than identifying ways of dealing with the problem.
Circular Conversations – Arguments which go on almost endlessly, repeating the same patterns with no resolution.
High and Low-Functioning – A High-Functioning Personality-Disordered Individual is one who is able to conceal their dysfunctional behavior in certain public settings and maintain a positive public or professional profile while exposing their negative traits to family members behind closed doors. A Low-Functioning Personality-Disordered Individual is one who is unable to conceal their dysfunctional behavior from public view or maintain a positive public or professional profile.
Lack of Object Constancy – An inability to remember that people or objects are consistent, trustworthy and reliable, especially when they are out of your immediate field of vision.
20 Common Negative Assumptions in BPD thinking:
- I will always be alone
- There is no one who really cares about me, who will be available to help me, and whom I can fall back on.
- If others really get to know me, they will find me rejectable and will not be able to love me; and they will leave me.
- I can’t manage by myself, I need someone I can fall back on.
- I have to adapt my needs to other people’s wishes, otherwise they will leave me or attack me.
- I have no control of myself.
- I can’t discipline myself.
- I don’t really know what I want.
- I need to have complete control of my feelings otherwise things go completely wrong.
- I am an evil person and I need to be punished for it.
- If someone fails to keep a promise, that person can no longer be trusted.
- I will never get what I want.
- If I trust someone, I will get hurt or disappointed.
- My feelings and opinions are unfounded.
- If you comply with someone’s request, you run the risk of losing yourself.
- If you refuse someone’s request, you run the risk of losing that person.
- Other people are evil and abuse you.
- I’m powerless and vulnerable and I can’t protect myself.
- If other people really get to know me they will find me rejectable.
- Other people are not willing or helpful.